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Sunday, July 6, 2014

Smokey chicken SALAD

Do you ever go to a restaurant and order a salad,  and looks like this


And you're all like



Because, oh salad!   You slay me with your bullshit boring lettuce, you may as well be iceburg, you silly prick!  And those unripe,  mealy piece of crap tomatoes?!  Stop it, your killing me, I can't breath! 

But as reality slowly sets in, and shit starts to get real,  your a little more like


Oh my Fuck.  I just PAID for this shit?!  This is my DINNER?!  I'm gonna haft go home and eat a PB & J!  This is crap.  I feel violated.  By produce.  And not in a good way...

When it's just too much for you to take, you end up

Because that shit is emotional.  You might run to the bathroom,  or pretend you have something in your eye, but you are fooling NO MAN.

And finally, you can just be like


Because even JC ain't got time for that.

Well friends, spare your self the emotional roller coaster that is restaurant salads, and make this at home


Smokey Chicken Salad.


This salad is SUPER filling.  I couldn't even finish mine.  It takes a little prep, but you can alter it.  As always I'll tell you how!  Relax.  Fuck.

- smoked chicken thighs. (If you don't have this, or don't wanna go to the trouble to make this, stopping being such a lazy asshole....  J/k, you can use rotisserie,  or BBQ chicken, it will still be bangin.)

- veggies (I'm just gonna list em all here, cause speaking of lazy assholes...)
Tomato
green onion
Peppers (I used sweet, AND some canned pickled jalapeños, because my man likey)
Avocado
Cilantro

- 1 or 2 cans of black beans

Basicly,  you want equal parts of everything.   Maybe a little less of the spicy shit, but that is YOUR CALL.  Don't get all pissed at me if you put to many jalapeños in, and end up with fire ass, that's your jam.  You figure it out.

For the dressing, I took two of those little cups of Salsa verde, or as we in so cal call it "suave sauce"...no?  That's just in our house? Okie dokie.  Anyway, I mixed those with the juice of one big fatty lime, and added cumin, garlic powder, salt, and chili powder.   

It really is a radical summer salad, and I had a bunch of the shit in my garden.  Really do try to used smoked chicken though.  Cause Jesus said so.  And it REALLY makes it.

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